five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty