My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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