so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i used baking grease as lip gloss
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
