My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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