so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
