Umm I'm too high to move.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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