he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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