Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
