My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
this boner is exhausting
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
