Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
