He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Send help, water and tortillas.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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