hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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