The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize