Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
