I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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