Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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