Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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