you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have tasted many bathrooms
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