She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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