Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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