whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
