just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
