so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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