Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just invented taco cereal.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just pee around me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
