Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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