in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
