Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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