Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
