This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
