I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
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My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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