It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?