we have officially lost it.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.