Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.