ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
PS: I just woke up from my shower
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
