i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
