It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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