i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Randomize
