How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
