Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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