i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
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Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
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So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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