you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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