he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
