We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize