Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
