paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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