Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
