is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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