I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.