shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
