It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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