hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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