1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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