Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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