i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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