My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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