I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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