Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
