I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before