We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
They have beer where we have blood.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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