i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
I'm just looking out for you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night