the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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