I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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