Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
